Why?

Why? The only question I ask is why. Why did you leave? Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why am I not good enough for you?
The darkness blinds me from the truth. I keep saying you'll come back. But I know you won't. I keep saying you cared. But you never did. I keep saying that you love me. But you never did and never will.
"It's ok," I say. "It's ok. It's ok."
I keep repeating the words, as if I say them enough, the pain will go away. But, of course, it doesn't. It stays there deep in my chest. My heart. I can hear it snap in half. I feel broken, like someone should throw me away.
I try to stay happy. But I can't. And my cheek is wet. Tears. They run down my face as fast as you ran out. I can't help it now. The tears stream down like a river flowing. A river of pain.
"It's ok."
I can barely get the words out. I close my eyes and let the words repeat in my head. It's ok. It's ok. It's ok. I'm fine. Everything will be alright. It's ok. No one can hurt you. The pain will pass. It's ok. It's ok. It's ok...
"It's not ok!" I yelled.
I'm standing now.
"He cheated on you! It's not ok! It's not ok! It's not ok!"
I kick into the darkness. Something shatters, but I don't care. Because it felt good to kick it. Like the pain, was slowly going away. I kick again. More shattering. The pain pours out of me with each kick. One more kick, and I feel better.
I carefully, walk through the darkness to turn on a light. When it's on, I see how much damage I've done. The picture frame with us in it it a million pieces. The china set you gave to me, non reparable. And the letter you left me instead of saying it to my face. I pick up. And read it aloud.
"I'm leaving. Sorry you had to figure out this way. I cheated on you with my ex girlfriend, and I'm sorry. But we're back together. And we're happy. I'm sure soon you'll be happy too. I love you. Goodbye. Forever."
I rip it apart. And scatter the pieces like confetti. But one piece falls on my foot. I love you. I sit down and look at it. Maybe we'll meet again. Maybe you'll say sorry. Maybe you'll say it was a mistake. And I'll say screw you.
I rip the paper, making all the pain drift away.